As Long As I Have You (I Can Face Anything)
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: It won't be straight forward. It won't be easy. But as long as James has Regulus, it'll be worth it.


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.**

 _Written for Squad SS, for Jas. I hope you like it, hun :D_

 **Word Count** \- 2642

 _Beta'd by Amber_

* * *

 **As Long As I Have You (I Can Face Anything)**

* * *

James smiled at Lily as he rocked Harry to sleep. She looked exhausted, and with her having just finished a rather gruelling shift at the hospital, he wasn't surprised. More and more she was being called in for extra shifts as fights and skirmishes happened across the wizarding world.

The war was becoming more and more pronounced by the day, notable in its growth not because of big battles but more from the little happenings that were in the paper every day.

A Muggleborn attacked for no reason, a shop owned by someone on the light side of the war burnt out, an unexplained Dementor attack.

"How is he?" Lily asked, breaking James' focus.

"He's okay," James replied softly, so as not to wake Harry. "He's getting better."

Lily smiled and pressed a kiss to Harry's temple, then squeezed James' bicep. "I'm going to bed, I'm wiped. See you in the morning."

James nodded. "Sleep well, love."

Lily left the room to climb the stairs and James moved over to the window, looking up at the stars. Harry was fast asleep in his arms, and he knew he should put the little boy in his cot and get some sleep himself but he was feeling restless.

It was times like this he missed Sirius the most.

…

" _POTTER!"_

 _James winced then looked up to see Lily walking towards him, her hair blue and black._

" _I'm surprised, Evans," he admitted, staring at her hair. "I never would have called you as more likely to be a snake than a bird."_

" _You need to reverse this, immediately," she growled, glaring darkly at him, her emerald eyes sparking with rage._

" _Ah. Erm, well. You see. It's… I can't." He winced again when her glare intensified. "It'll only last for… about forty-eight hours. Ish. probably."_

 _Lily stomped away with a huff. James looked at Sirius, who was practically red in the face with the effort to not laugh._

" _You're a jackass. This was your prank," James muttered. "Why is it always me that gets blamed?"_

" _I play innocent so well," Sirius replied with a cheeky grin._

" _Uh huh. At least until someone spends more than five minutes with you," James agreed, rolling his eyes._

…

James shifted Harry slightly as he sighed. That had been the last prank the two of them had played together. He wished… he wished things could be different. Wished he knew who to trust but… he didn't and he couldn't.

Maybe one day, he'd be able to sit down with Sirius and explain everything.

Maybe one day, he'd get his best friend back.

…

" _I still don't understand why this is necessary," Sirius grumbled. "I'm seventeen. What the bloody hell do I want with a soulmate?"_

" _Perfect match and all that jazz," James said with a shrug. "Besides, odds are on that you won't see anyone yet. Our souls haven't finished maturing."_

" _Then why bother?"_

" _Soulmates produce stronger magic, stupid," Lily muttered, rolling her eyes. "You know this, Black. Professor McGonagall told us last night in the common room."_

" _I'm not sure whether to be impressed or offended that you think I listened to her," Sirius replied cheerfully._

 _Lily shook her head. "You're actually impossible."_

 _It was a shock, when Lily wasn't his soulmate. James had carried a torch for her since the day they met, and yet, when they each came out of the room housing the soulmate mirror, they hadn't seen each other in the glass._

 _Lily was so pale, James thought she was going to pass out. Moving automatically, he wrapped his arm around her waist and helped her down the corridor to an empty classroom, then helped her sit down on a desk._

" _Not good news?" he asked, raising his eyebrow._

" _You, uh, could say that," Lily agreed. Her voice was throaty and low, and she swallowed hard. "I… have no idea what I'm going to do, James."_

" _If it helps, I know how you feel?" he offered, sitting beside her on the desk._

" _I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours?" she replied, leaning against him. "Because I bet I win."_

…

She'd been right, of course. Lily was always right. She won the suck factor of soulmates, and James hadn't really known what to say to her. At least his was… well. If he'd been asked, he'd have said her soulmate didn't have a soul to match.

Harry whimpered in James' arms and James looked down at him. He was a handsome little bugger, all messy hair and cute dimples.

James hadn't realised he could love someone so much until the first time he'd held the little boy in his arms.

He hushed the little boy softly and rocked his arms again. He really should put Harry in his cot.

…

 _James rubbed Lily's arm soothingly. "We'll tell people that we're soulmates," he suggested after a long moment. "It would save both of our problems, right?"_

" _But… what about…?"_

 _James shook his head. He didn't want to think about it, couldn't think about it because what the hell was he supposed to do? It was a situation asking for trouble, and not even the kind of trouble that James particularly liked._

" _I don't know," he admitted. "I'll figure it out. But for now… for now, we still with each other and we… fake it, I guess."_

" _I don't like lying but… Thank you, James."_

 _James nodded. She might not be his soulmate, but he'd spent so long loving Lily that he didn't really know how to do anything else._

…

James put his head around the door as he passed, checking Lily was sleeping safely in her bed. He knew she would be, but he couldn't help but check on her multiple times a night most nights regardless.

He was paranoid, he knew it, she knew it, but he couldn't help it.

She was in so much danger all the time, simply for being herself, and he couldn't stand the thought of losing her.

She was his best friend.

He closed the door and crossed the hallway to his own room, pushing the door open with his foot. Harry's cot was waiting for him, and he gently laid the little boy down, tucking the blanket around him.

James looked over at the bed, smiling when the light crossed over his soulmate's face. He looked peaceful when he was asleep.

Relaxed in a way he never was when he was awake.

…

" _You know this can't be public knowledge, right?"_

 _James nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Of course I do. I'm not stupid, no matter what you think of me."_

 _Regulus sighed and leant back against the wall. "I never… I don't think you're stupid, Potter. I just… this wasn't something I ever would have expected."_

" _You're good at understatements, did you know that?"_

 _Regulus snorted._

 _James let his chin rest against his chest for a moment before he looked up at Regulus. "We know now, which means the pull will start soon. I… there's no denying it at this point. We can hide it, sure, but we're stuck with it now."_

 _Regulus nodded. "I know. Have you told Sirius?"_

 _James blanched. "No. No I have not."_

" _I'll tell him. And… you're seeing Evans, right?"_

" _Ah, that's complicated and I'm not willing to get into it right now," James hedged. Regulus might be his soulmate, but that didn't automatically make him trustworthy. "But I've already promised her that for the public's sake, we can be soulmates. I figured it would work out best for all of us."_

 _Regulus raised his eyebrows. "That's… more Slytherin like than I would have expected from you, I'll admit."_

 _James rolled his eyes. "What, you think that just because you wear a green tie you're the only one that can be sneaky? Please."_

" _I'm going to tell Sirius the truth, because… because I can't lie to him and he'll know I'm lying if I say anything else." Regulus wrinkled his nose. "But I'm going to tell him you've rejected me for Evans."_

 _James winced. He knew it was a sensible move, but he dreaded Sirius' reaction. As much as Sirius had distanced himself from his family, James knew that Sirius would see this as a chance for redemption for Regulus._

 _If he thought James had rejected him…_

 _It wasn't going to be pretty._

…

He'd been right.

He and Sirius hadn't had a civil conversation since and James still mourned the friendship with his best friend.

James cast a monitoring charm on Harry's cot and quietly left the room. He padded around the house, tidying minor things and fiddling with others.

He couldn't settle to anything.

James opened the back door and exited the house for the porch. The cool night air was nice on his skin, and he tilted his head up towards the sky.

His broom sat off to the side innocently, and his fingers twitched. What he wouldn't give for a nice night time flight.

Not that he could go, but it would be… perfect. He couldn't, wouldn't, leave the people in his home defenceless though. He needed them all more than he needed to feel comfortable.

He turned his thoughts back to the memories he'd been reliving and smiled to himself. No matter than he'd been missing Sirius like he'd miss a missing limb, he couldn't deny that he'd had happy moments too.

…

 _Frantic kisses were shared as hands fought to get inside shirts, the skin on skin contact heaven after months of not seeing each other._

" _I've missed you," James groaned against Regulus' lips. "So much, baby."_

" _I missed you too," Regulus gasped._

…

" _We only have a few hours," Regulus said to James, entering in through the back door. "Hey Lily."_

" _Reg," Lily greeted with a smile. She was getting ready to head to the hospital for a shift. "I'm heading out, but take care of him," she added, nodding to James. "He's been a grumpy sod all week."_

 _Regulus chuckled, kissing Lily's cheek as she passed him. "What's got you all stressed, babe?" he asked, James, tugging him closer._

" _I haven't seen you for almost a month," James grumbled. "We've got to get better at this."_

" _I know," Regulus murmured. "I know. Come cuddle me. The weather is cruel and I'm freezing."_

…

 _James greeted Regulus with a wide smile. "She's pregnant, Reg. It worked!"_

" _We're going to be dads?"_

" _Yeah, Reg. We're going to be dads."_

" _Lily's okay?"_

 _James grinned. "Already cursing us for the morning sickness," he said, laughing. "So I hope you know that we're going to be waiting on her hand and foot for the next nine months."_

 _Regulus smirked. "Worth it."_

…

James was still smiling when he re-entered the house. He locked up, double and triple checking the wards around the house as he made his way back up to the bedroom.

It was when he reached the top of the stairs and rubbed his neck that he realised the problem he'd been having actually had a cause.

He pulled the heavy gold locket out from under his t-shirt and stared down at it for a few moments.

They were really going to have to destroy it soon. He hadn't even noticed that it was altering his mood, and he really wasn't happy about becoming so complacent about a _Horcrux._

Lily had a theory that if they could destroy all of the containers, Tom Riddle might be salvageable. Privately, James thought she was mad, but he couldn't take away her hope.

He looped the necklace off his neck, feeling instantly better, lighter, than he had before.

He'd speak with Regulus about it in the morning. This was all his work, after all.

…

" _I think… I think he can be finished, but it's not going to be easy," Regulus murmured, head tucked against James' neck. "He has Horcruxes, James."_

" _Plural intended?" James asked, horrified._

 _Regulus nodded. "At least two but I suspect more. I can't keep doing this, pretending to be faithful to him, doing his dirty work. I've… he made me watch them kill a muggle born last night. She was young, younger than me, and she hadn't done anything wrong. It was like sport to them."_

 _James squeezed him tightly. "I can hide you?" he offered. "Fidelius. It would keep you safe."_

" _It would make me as much a prisoner to you as I am to him," Regulus whispered. "I don't want that, not for either of us."_

" _Then what do we do?" James asked._

" _I… I'm going to try and get rid of them."_

 _James shook his head, clinging tighter to Regulus. "It's impossible! You'll be killed! You can't go up against him on your own, Reg!"_

 _Regulus pressed his lips to James' neck. "What other choice do I have?"_

…

"What's wrong?" Regulus asked jumping at the noise of the necklace hitting the bedside table.

James moved forwards to sit on the edge of the bed. He smiled when Regulus blinked up at him sleepily, his hair in his face.

"Sorry, baby. I dropped it," he murmured, stroking the hair from Regulus' forehead. "Go back to sleep."

Regulus pushed himself up on his elbow and reached out for James. "I can help wear you out," he offered, his lips tilting into a smirk. "You know, if you're having problems getting tired."

James chuckled lowly. "Go back to sleep. You're still healing."

"Boring," Regulus mumbled. "Come cuddle then. I heal faster in your arms."

"You made that up," James said, though he didn't deny his soulmate. He sat back on the bed, his back to the headboard and raised his arm for Regulus to curl around him. His hand automatically sank into Regulus' hair, playing with the strands.

It still scared him, how close he was to never having this.

...

 _James made it just in time. Kreacher stared up at him with hopeful eyes as he immediately cast flames around them to keep the inferi at bay._

" _Bloody fucking idiot, you're going to get yourself killed!" he grumbled down to the prone figure of his boyfriend. "Kreacher, can you get us out of here?"_

 _Kreacher nodded, trembling. James took the necklace from his long fingers and pocketed it, shivering at the feel of it._

 _It felt… bad._

 _He didn't really have words for it._

" _Okay, get that loon to my house, and then come back for me, okay?" he instructed, making sure his flames were still secure. "And be quick."_

 _Kreacher nodded, and in a split second, disappeared with Regulus held close to him. James shook his head._

 _They had a week old baby at home._

 _He_ did not _need this._

…

Regulus was almost back asleep when Harry let out a cry. James eased out from under him and cross the room, scooping Harry up in his arms and holding him close to his chest.

"You're going to spoil him," Regulus said, though when James sat down on the bed, Regulus opened his arms immediately for their little boy.

"Probably," James admitted.

"You know," Regulus said after a moment's silence. "I still can't believe he's ours."

James smiled and leant over to kiss his temple. "Believe it baby. He's ours for keeps. Harry Sirius Potter-Black."

Regulus nodded and tucked himself into James' side. "I love you."

"I love you too."

James closed his eyes and let his head rest against the top of Regulus'. He didn't know what was going to happen next. There were so many unanswered questions, so much they didn't know, and didn't know how to find, but…

He couldn't help but be grateful.

He had his soulmate. He had Lily, the best friend anyone could ever want. And he had his son.

No matter what else, as long as they had them, it would be okay.


End file.
